Sunday, August 3, 2014

Eating Disorder (Ed): Eating with shame

4 years ago this is a scripture that opened my eyes to something that deep down I always felt was true: When I feel guilt and shame when I eat, it harms my body, and I usually will gain weight by what I eat.

I have proven this theory for myself many times in the past. Maybe as a form of self punishment when I "eat with offence" my debilitating negative beliefs lower my metabolism or stores all the fat in the food instead of using it for energy? Which would make sense considering what the body can go through while in fight or flight mode. When I ate what I thought to be "bad foods" I literally would go into a type of fight or flight panic of "Oh no oh no oh no I just ate something bad" and I would feel immense shame for LIKING the "bad" food because it tasted so good, and I would feel weak that I wasn't strong enough to say no. Which only fed the cycle of me wanting it even more later on :(

And then there were random times that I felt good about myself for whatever reason, and didn't even think about the food as I was eating it. There was zero guilt or shame, and I would always notice after the fact that I never gained weight from it. No matter what I ate. I didn't physically do anything different. I just didn't feel shame and guilt when I ate.

Then I read this scripture and it confirmed everything I felt to be true for MYSELF. That my body, my brain, my thoughts were incredibly powerful.
I believe there is absolutely NO such thing as "bad" food. Pizza, donuts, icecream etc., these are and never will be BAD foods. They are not unhealthy in and of themselves. I don't believe food has the ability or power to be good or bad. Its just food. Its what we DO with it.

I believe how we feel about that food, how we feel about ourselves, and the quantity are the keys----What I think and how I feel can determine what I AM.
"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he" - Proverbs
"As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains."- As a Man Thinketh 
"A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts."- As a Man Thinketh 
"A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses." - As a Man Thinketh

What does this scripture say to YOU?

Roman Chapter 14
 14 I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean.
 15 But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, thou walkest not charitably if thou eat. Therefore destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died........
17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.
 18 For he that in these things serveth Christ isacceptable to God, and approved of men.
19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.
 20 For meat (because of food) destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence......
22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.
 23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

1 comment:

  1. Great Thoughts! Lately as I work my recovery I have noticed that my body is naturally desiring food and I can eat it without feeling shame or guilt. It makes more sense when you consider how many people eat the same things but gain or lose weight or stay the same. I don't feel the same "cravings" I used to either. I just want to eat what I feel like eating and it isn't a moral crisis the way it used to be.