Saturday, November 8, 2014

Sex Addiction Cycle

The Cycle of Sexual Addiction

Addiction Cycle


  1. This is very helpful , may I ask where you found it ? I know everyone is a little unique and yet a lot alike . In the first block , does it always start with negative core beliefs ? It is very hard to think of him like that .

  2. This is an addiction cycle that I made myself. Ive been searching for a really good one that is more descriptive but couldn't find any, so I figured I would make one that had everything I believed and helped me.

    Yes I personally believe alllll addiction starts with negative core belief. Many addicts don't realize what their core belief is right away.

    Here's an example:

    Imagine a child is abused by his parents (or experiences ANY trauma). Since parents are a childs world and learn their identity from their parents, when this boys father sarcastically makes fun of him for throwing a ball like a girl and then pushes him to the ground, what message did that little boy receive? The brain receives the subconscious message "There's something wrong with me. I can't do it right. I'm not good enough. But why am I not good enough? If I'm not good enough It must mean I'm not lovable. If I was good enough my father would love me" etc etc.

    And who can the boy go to for comfort? Who does he go to, to make him feel safe? He doesn't feel safe going to mommy because she might tell daddy and she doesn't stand up to him anyway either. He definitely doesn't feel safe going to daddy. So he develops more and more this sense of being alone, bad, unworthy, ashamed, scared, traumatized, etc and his whole world starts becoming unsafe and he ends up not trusting things as much. And with no one to talk to, he ends up unknowingly deeply resenting his parents for not being able to give him the basic human child need of safety and love. He resents his parents for not being able to trust them.

    So here you have a little boy with a general belief , or "feeling" of "I'm not good enough". Now possibly anything negative that happens to him in life only proves and reaffirms his new negative core belief. Get bad grades? "Cuz I'm not good enough". Daddy hits me again? "Cuz I'm not good enough". Girl doesn't like me? "Cuz I'm not good enough". His subconscious negative core belief says "SEE SEE I told it was because I'm not good enough.

    Does that make sense?

    Then you throw in the traumatic experience of the boy seeing pornography for the first time along with the instant high, excitement, and shame "uh oh I'm doing something I shouldn't" from it, and for the first time he feels what he perceives to be intense core emotions of Love and Attachment (love and Attachment that he never got from his parents) He's never felt anything like it. He's always felt like something was lacking, and intense high helps him forget him pain for a tiny tiny bit. So he keeps watching it and watching it, all the while his brain is getting rewired without him knowing it, and he's becoming more and more addicted to it.

    Fast forward 30 years, this boy is now an adult, a father,a husband, and STILL an addict....And for some reason he just can't stop. He tries and tries but he keeps going back to it. Why? (Besides the obvious "because it feels good" ha)

    Because this man has a core belief of "I'm not good enough" , "I'm not lovable" , so any time he tries to get better, theres a part of him that just thinks "what's the point, I'm NOT good enough. I can't do anything right" and he keeps falling right back into the cycle.

    Sorry if this doesn't make sense, ha it's late. But I fully fully believe that an addict cant change and STAY sober and get INTO recovery until he can learn to tackle the negative beliefs that keep sucking him back into the Addiction Cycle. If an addict can't find self worth, they will just keep self sabotaging themselves along the way.

  3. Makes a ton of sense , thank you for explaining it ! And I am so sorry for insulting you and asking where you got it ! Of course you created it , your great at figuring this out . : ) It does help me grasp where some of his issues stem from too. And mine ! Think think think brain gets tired.

    1. I think its pretty darn near impossible for you to insult me ;) haha

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