Help For Victims Of Betrayal Abuse

Everything You Never Thought You Wanted to Know About Abuse, Victim Blaming Language, & Sex Addiction

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About Me

Makemyburdenlight
I am a lived experience advocate for victims of betrayal abuse/intimate partner violence, and a recovering alcohol, drug, and sex addict. I am certified in Response Based Practice, and my passion is deconstructing victim blaming language, empowering victims to recognize their dignity and resistance to abuse, and exposing harmful teachings (especially within the trauma and sex addiction industry.)
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Popular Posts

  • 90-99% of Men Regularly View Pornography
    Pornography Statistics: "94.2 % [men] had viewed pornography in the last six months.  Additionally, 82.4% indicated that they currently...
  • Victim Blaming Post #6 Trauma Bonded
     The term "Trauma Bond" is just as victim blaming as codependency , reactive abuse , stockholm syndrome , learned helplessness , D...
  • Questions To Ask Your Husband
    **5/25 Update: Heads to that this is the old outdated list of disclosure questions. If you want an updated list with over a 100 questions, o...
  • LDS Mormon View On Masturbation
    "Masturbation is sex with self. Sex with self is sex with someone other than your husband or wife to whom you are legally and lawf...
  • Why The Carnes/CSAT Empire Is Victim Blaming
    FYI: The CSAT training is FULL OF CODEPENDENCY/victim blaming. Stefanie Carnes runs the CSAT trainings (her father Patrick Carnes made up th...
  • Why Watching Pornography Is Cheating
    Ever wonder WHY watching pornography without consent of your partner is also cheating? It's because there's a part of the brain tha...
  • Addiction Dictionary : Definitions of Common Addiction Terms
    ADDICTION -  "Addiction is the continued repetition of a behavior/rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences". I believe ...
  • Bruno Bettelheim: The Shocking History Of Trauma Bonding
    I wanted to expound more on the history of the blaming label "Trauma Bonding"  (to read why Trauma Bonding is victim blaming, and ...
  • Victim Blaming Post #1 Codependency
    I will be doing a series of posts about some victim blaming terms that many people may not be aware of that are harming victims of abuse, li...
  • "Victim" Is Not A Weak Shameful Word
    "Victim mode",  "Victim Mentality",  "Victim Mindset"  "Stop playing a Victim",  "It's temp...

Books I recommend (especially for sex addict abusers). Read them in order.

  • 1. "The Chalice and the Blade - History of patriarchy" by Riane Eisler
  • 2. "Worlds Oldest Prejudice : A Brief History of Misogyny" by Jack Holland
  • 3. "Macho Paradox" by Jackson Katz
  • 4. "The Will to Change" by bell hooks. (Also in her other book "All about Love", chapters 1-4 are great at explaining what love REALLY is, and what many people view as love today really isn't love, it's just caring and cathexis. The rest of the chapters are "ok" but have some old school victim blaming to watch out for).
  • 5. "How Do I Get Through to You" & "I Don't Want to Talk About it" By Terrance Real
  • 6. "Feminie Mystique" by Betty Friedan
  • 7. "Entitled" by Kate Manne (explains why entitlement is at the root of misogyny & patriarchy. And in my opinion also abuse)
  • 8. "The Woman They Could Not Silence" by Kate Moore

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      • Unmasking the Wolf: The Truth of Expert Lundy Banc...
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Resources I Recommend

  • #1 Response Based Practice (my favorite)
  • #2 BTR "Betrayal Trauma Recovery"
  • #3 Dr Jessica Taylor @ Victim Focus
    The Immediate Aftermath of Trauma - part 2:
  • #5 Dr. Barbara Steffens
  • Jay Benke, anti trafficking expert
  • Jay Benke, anti trafficking expert, 2nd website
  • Mother Justice Network
    5 Habits of Successful DV Survivors
Show 5 Show All

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