Aug 2, 2015

Does Your Loved One Have These ADHD Symptoms?

Does your sexually addicted loved one have any of these ADHD symptoms?:

Lots of anxiety

Racing thoughts (mind won't shut off)

Mind goes so fast it becomes flooded and too overwhelmed, which often leaves one feeling tired and sluggish (aka. Feeling of running in water)

Poor reality testing skills, and avoids reason or logic.

Feels depressed and hopeless from feeling overwhelmed.

Simple tasks bring lots of anxiety (groceries, walking dog, paying bills, social activities, talking about feelings, yard work, dealing with kids etc)

Often gets "glazed over" look when being spoken directly to.




Loses things easily

Constantly late



Overwhelmed by responsibilities

Always moving and restless (tapping toes, nail biting, tidying up, bouncing leg while sitting, cleaning, fidgety etc.)

Tendency to become absorbed in tasks that are stimulating and rewarding. aka "hyper focused".

Underestimating the time takes to complete tasks

Interrupts or intrudes on others.

May have zero concept of boundaries and other's personal space.

Sense of underachievement

Doesn’t deal well with frustration

Easily flustered and stressed out


Emotional Dysregulation/ Mood swings (which can sometimes mimic bi polar)

Trouble staying motivated

Poor planning abilities, unable to follow through consistently or complete tasks. Ie. Making plans one day, and then completely changing their mind the next, therefore things only getting done depending on mood.

Hypersensitivity to criticism

Short, often explosive, temper

Low self-esteem and sense of insecurity

Bored easily

Doing a million things at once

Poor sleep patterns, often not rested.

Difficulty in making up their mind, or making choices without undue anxiety.

Impatient, continuing difficulties in delaying gratification.

Overly demanding may become self-destructive and aggressive.

Unable to follow simple tasks and directions if the task does not hold an interest.

Gives up easily on tasks, assignments.

Can't keep a job


Overworks and uses working as an escape/ At the end of the day they can't leave "work" AT work.

It's extremely common for addicts to have ADHD and if left untreated it could prevent your loved one from ever getting into long term Sober Recovery.

Research shows 70% of addicts have ADHD, and although this post is mainly about the correlation of ADHD and addiction, many non-addicts have it too.

Not only that, a person with ADHD is 6 times more likely to to have another overlapping psychiatric disorder and neurological studies show people with ADHD often even have smaller right frontal lobes although it's unclear why.

Why treating ADHD is so important: 

Successful treatment of ADHD can hugely improve anxiety, depression, and one's urge to want to act out in their addiction.

"Undiagnosed or untreated ADHD is associated with significant morbidity, including higher-than-expected rates of maladaptive behavior, family problems including divorce, problematic employment, substance abuse, motor vehicle accidents, and secondary mood and anxiety disorders."

Dr Kevin Skinner PhD @ Addo Recovery states:
       "If they struggle with adhd,  then clearly that is something that needs to be addressed,  because the research shows that individuals dealing with sexual addiction are more prone to have ADHD,  and if they have untreated ADHD,  their success in Recovery is very limited."
       "I had an individual who was dealing with quite a bit of adhd,  and without anyone else in the past addressing that,  it was almost impossible for him to find any sort of success because (of) his ADHD behaviors."

Understanding ADHD:

Me and and my husband have ADHD Inattentive, which basically means our minds go a million miles an hour ALL the time to the point that it leaves us physically exhausted. We get overwhelmed and emotionally flooded very very easy from the anxiety of it and it makes our logical thinking brain shut down along with our bodies.

ADHD Hyperactive is having so much energy and anxiety mentally AND physically that a person cant calm down long enough to pay attention, unless its something THEY video games, or drawing. Both Inattentive and Hyperactive can always do things excite them, and it's common for people with ADHD to be a little of both subtypes.

This is one of the best explanations I have found:
          "Have you ever walked into an electronics store and seen a dozen flat screen televisions arranged along one wall? Now imagine yourself standing there while each of the screens displays a different program. As you watch the televisions, imagine you are asked to look at every blue item on every screen. Your brain quickly scans from monitor to monitor, looking for anything that is blue: a coat, the sky, or a car. After a few minutes you are instructed to find everything round. Now you look frantically for things like tires, doughnuts, and faces. Finally, after a few more moments, you are told to stop and report what the weather is going to be like for the next five days. You look up and see that the screen directly in front of you has just finished the five-day forecast. You missed it.
Imagine the frustration and confusion you would feel at this moment. You would feel tricked or betrayed by the person giving you instructions. Now imagine that it was your own brain that had instructed you to pay attention to the wrong things. This is what it's like to have attention deficit and/or hyperactivity disorder. 
Contrary to what most people think, a person with ADD/ADHD can in fact pay attention to things. They do not lack the ability to focus. In the example above the person was attentive and quick to notice patterns and could see hidden relationships between different images. But since the ultimate goal was to know the weather forecast, the result was failure. 
People with ADD/ADHD don't lack the ability to pay attention; they have difficulty controlling what their mind focuses on. For parents or teachers looking from the outside, it appears as though the person with ADD/ADHD simply has a short attention span. This is because they may not be able to focus on the particular thing they are supposed to focus on. In a reality, a person with ADD/ADHD can have a very long attention span, but they cannot turn it on or off at will. Something has to “capture” their attention. This is why an ADD/ADHD child can have amazing abilities for concentration in one area and virtually no ability to focus on something else. Such a child might have memorized all the facts and statistics in their massive baseball card collection, but be unable to pass a simple history test in school. Such failures are not a lack of will-power or effort. The ADD/ADHD person can have the best intentions and make heroic efforts to pay attention to the right things, but their mind betrays them."

Treating ADHD:

There are various ways to treat ADHD, and are lots of medications out there and it's not always one size fits all.

"Optimal treatment of adult ADHD invariably requires pharmacotherapy. Adding life-skills coaching or cognitive-behavioral therapy, or both, in either individual or group settings can further improve outcome, but by themselves they are generally insufficient."

First have your addict loved one take a few tests, heck, take a few tests for them since the questions can be easily confusing to a person with ADHD. The tests may even need to be taken a few times. When me and husband first took the tests we didnt realize we did most of those things because we either didn't understand or misunderstood the questions. We needed more explanations and examples.

Next go to your primary care Dr and tell them that you've taken the tests and you think you have ADHD. Give them a list of all your ADHD symptoms and show them the tests.

Even though there's many medications for
ADHD, out of all that I have tried, me and my husband prefer Adderall IR (instant release) 20mg in the peach oval tablets. For some reason they digest better and calm my brain the best. I suggest trying this one first (Dr may give you 10mg first to build you up).

Adderall XR (Extended release) made us more moody, less stable, and you have to take MORE mg of the drug in order to get same effect as an IR instant release. And who wants more drugs in their system than needed?

Sometimes Drs will try to push you into trying antidepressants first, but don't let them unless you think you legitimately have depression. Sometimes Drs do this for insurance reasons and there's less liability with antidepressants because most ADHD drugs are a controlled substance and antidepressants are not. I personally believe it's safer and faster to go down the ADHD route before trying the anti-depressants route.

ALSO VERY IMPORTANT*** Some Drs will try to get you to try the non stimulant ADHD drug Strattera. DO NOT TRY THIS DRUG. Studies show the majority of people with ADHD do NOT do well on this drug. This drug is a load of crappity crap crap crap. Research it if you want. It's NOT very effective. Strattera made me MORE tired, extremely foggy brained. I loath feeling tired and cloudy. Insurance companies try to push strattera, but it's a waste of time! Although I admit it did help with anxiety because I was just too tired to even care about anything else. No bueno :)

Extra Links:


(long one)

Explanation of what ADHD is :

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
in Adults

The Vicious Cycle of Adult ADD, Shame and Compulsive Sexuality

What you don't know...