Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Understand Me

Understand Me

My Addiction vs. Betrayal Trauma

No amount of words can fully express to anyone the pure hell I went through when the drugs wore off. Physical pain. Emotional pain. It was unbearable and I was terrified. An hour into the withdrawals my body started to sweat and shake. It felt like I had the worst flu of my life, but x1000.

And then the real pain started.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

How do you know your husband is in recovery instead of just sober?

Question: "How will you/your husband know he's in recovery instead of just sober?"
He will turn back into the man I thought I married haha no jk, I really don't actually want that :)
Sure, my husband has been sober and he's doing good. And so far the way it feels and the way he's acting is COMPLETELY different then he's EVER been before, even on his "best days" in the past. Its a night and day difference. But he's not in recovery yet. Im not exactly sure how I will know he's in recovery.  I think longevity and consistency have alot to do with it. Some experts, therapists, tests and Dr's say recovery is about being sober and also progressively doing "mighty change of heart stuff" for 1-3 years. Some say 3-5 years. Some believe recovery has different stages. I find there is truth to all of them. (Recovery link here and here)

But I do have my own recovery/sobriety to gage what recovery looks like or doesn't look like. But before recovery I hit my rock bottom, so I also know what rock bottom looks like. Here's a few things about rock bottom: