Sunday, January 15, 2023

Bruno Bettelheim: The Shocking History Of Trauma Bonding

Trauma bond

I wanted to expound more on the history of the blaming label "Trauma Bonding"  (to read why Trauma Bonding is victim blaming and Patrick Carnes creation of it, click HERE ).

Dutton & Painter first mentioned "traumatic bonding" back in the 80's, and Patrick Carnes took it and popularized it into an actual label  called "Trauma Bonding". Dutton & Painter were influenced by other researchers like Porter, Walker, Forenzi, and especially Bruno Bettelheim (I went down a long rabbit hole reading all of them😳). 

Bruno Bettelheim was a child psychologist who helped inspire the "identification with the aggressor" theory when he wrote a paper in the 1940's about his experience as a holocaust survivor in a nazi concentration camp. He wrote that some of the holocaust victims tried to mimic the gestapo, were more mean than the gestapo, and played cruel games involving slapping each other, etc. Bettelheim later wrote tons of research papers, was one of the early writers on autism, treated autistic children, author of many books, professor of Psychology and director of Orthogenic at University of Chicago, and was the director of Sonia Shankman Orthogenic School for Disturbed Children. 

Bettleheims research papers also laid the foundation for many other blaming labels including Codependency, Learned Helplessness, Stockholm Syndrome, etc., and influenced TONS of professionals, a few of them being:

- Dutton and Painter used Bettelheim research papers to come up with "traumatic bonding" and applied it to abuse victims (though D&P didn't use it as a label at that time, they only used it as a way to describe a situation).

- Dr. L. Walker used Bettelheims research to create "identification with the aggressor" in her development of Battered Woman Syndrome.

- Dr. Patrick Carnes quotes Bettelheim as proof why victims are "addicted" to the addict. 

- Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk quotes Bettelheim as proof victims are "addicted" to the trauma/abuser/addict. Etc. (Heads up, Van Der Kolk has a history of abusing others) 

Sounds great right?? 


Bettelheim turned out to be a complete fraud and a liar! He was never a psychologist!  He never went to school for psychology, and only had a PhD in art history. He was just some dude who idolized Sigmund Freud (aw, a Freud wannabe), claimed to have worked with Freud personally (he lied 🤥), lied about his credentials, and wrote papers that made him popular, including his ridiculous idea that mothers caused a childs autism (though he wasn't the only one. Bowlby who created Attachment Theory originally blamed mothers as well. Blaming women has often been the popular choice for decades). Bettelheim also had a history of sexually assaulting women, and abusing the children he experimented on at the Orthogenic School. 🤯

Furthermore, it turned out that a lot of the stuff Bettelheim said happened in the nazi camp likely didn't happen either, because when other holocaust survivors in the same nazi camp as Bettleheim were asked if they experienced any of the same things Bettelheim did, their stories didn't match Bettleheims.

Basically, Bettelheim lied to EVERYONE about EVERYTHING!!!!

What's even more shocking is that professionals STILL quote him today, and these philosophies are STILL being taught in college. 🤦‍♀️ 

Which leaves the question, why on earth is society still believing in theories that were rooted and fueled by a guy who was a liar and a fraud?? I don't know. I really don't know...

VICTIMS DESERVE BETTER than to be treated with labels that are about as "real" as Hysteria and Wandering Womb. 

#StopVictimBlaming #traumabonding #codependency #wedonttalkaboutbruno #letstalkaboutbruno

Tuesday, January 10, 2023

Watching Porn Is Cheating

Ever wonder WHY watching pornography without consent of your partner is also cheating? It's because there's a part of the brain that cannot tell the difference between what's real or what's imagined. This is why we can laugh, cry, flinch etc. during movies or imagining something.

When a person is watching porn, reading porn, or masturbating to lust/fantasy in their head, the brain is literally chemically bonding to ANOTHER person. Whether a sex addict abuser is cheating with someone in real life or with the person their brain thinks is real, it's all chemically REAL to the brain. The only difference is the threat of STI's, pregnancy, etc. 

This is why sex addict abusers don't even technically need porn after a while, they can just imagine the porn (lust/fantasy). Sex addiction is one of the only addictions that someone can get high from just the lust/fantasy in their head. I sure could never get drunk from alcohol only by thinking of it. 

To think how much sex addict abusers have chosen to saturate their brain with OTHER women, it literally DOES change ones beliefs and can impact one's choices. Especially because statistically most women in pornography are trafficked, and statistically the majority of pornography shows violence against women. So they are literally not only harming their brains with their choices, or destroying their partners they are cheating on, they are also harming the women whom they are watching, which drives the demand of their abuse. 

The next time someone tells you "Oh but it's just porn, it's not as bad as cheating" you can tell them "Not according to the BRAIN! 

But How Does The Brain Think It's Real? 

It's not a coincidence that after the movie Jaws came out, everyone went on a shark killing spree. Everyone consciously knew it was just a movie, yet it still increased people's fear of sharks and believing all sharks are out get them. What we watch DOES have a huge impact on how we think and what we believe. 

Here's other examples of the brain believing what it's seeing or reading is real (even if the brain consciously knows it's not) :

" Volunteers were asked to play a simple sequence of piano notes each day for five consecutive days. Their brains were scanned each day in the region connected to the finger muscles. Another set of volunteers were asked to imagine playing the notes instead, also having their brains scanned each day.

The top two rows in the image show the changes in the brain in those who played the notes. The middle two rows show the changes in those who simply imagined playing the notes. Compare this with the bottom two rows showing the brain regions of the control group, who didn’t play nor imagine playing, piano.

You can clearly see that the changes in the brain in those who imaged playing piano are the same as in those who actually played piano. Really, your brain doesn’t distinguish real from imaginary!"


"Researchers have discovered that words describing motion also stimulate regions of the brain distinct from language-processing areas. In a study led by the cognitive scientist Véronique Boulenger, of the Laboratory of Language Dynamics in France, the brains of participants were scanned as they read sentences like “John grasped the object” and “Pablo kicked the ball.” The scans revealed activity in the motor cortex, which coordinates the body’s movements. What’s more, this activity was concentrated in one part of the motor cortex when the movement described was arm-related and in another part when the movement concerned the leg.

The brain, it seems, does not make much of a distinction between reading about an experience and encountering it in real life; in each case, the same neurological regions are stimulated"


"When we mentally replay an episode we've experienced, it can feel like we are transported back in time and re-living that moment again," said Dr. Brad Buchsbaum, lead investigator and scientist with Baycrest's RRI. "Our study has confirmed that complex, multi-featured memory involves a partial reinstatement of the whole pattern of brain activity that is evoked during initial perception of the experience. This helps to explain why vivid memory can feel so real."

"Dr. Buchsbaum's team found 'clear evidence' that patterns of distributed brain activation during vivid memory mimicked the patterns evoked during sensory perception when the videos were viewed – by a correspondence of 91% after a principal components analysis of all the fMRI imaging data."


"The timing of mentally simulated actions closely mimic actual movement times. Autonomic responses during motor imagery parallel the autonomic responses to actual exercise. Cerebral blood flow increases are observed in the motor cortices involved in the programming of actual movement (i.e. premotor cortex, anterior cingulate, inferior parietal lobule and cerebellum). These three sources of data provide converging support for the hypothesis that imagined and executed actions share, to some extent, the same central structures."


".. First direct evidence that our brain patterns are similar whether we are actually doing something or simply watching someone else do it." 

"When watching a task being performed, subjects don't simply follow the movement of hand and block with their eyes. Instead, their gaze shifts in anticipation of the next move, and the brain patterns mimic those of someone actually doing the task."


"Rubber Hands ‘Feel’ Touch That Eyes See

Each of ten subjects was seated with their left arm resting upon a small table. A standing screen was positioned beside the arm to hide it from the subject's view and a life-sized rubber model of a left hand and arm was placed on the table directly in front of the subject. The subject sat with eyes fixed on the artificial hand while we used two small paintbrushes to stroke the rubber hand and the subject's hidden hand, synchronising the timing of the brushing as closely as possible.

..subjects experienced an illusion in which they seemed to feel the touch not of the hidden brush but that of the viewed brush, as if the rubber hand had sensed the touch."


"Experimental and clinical psychologists have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an ‘actual’ experience and an experience imagined vividly and in detail" 

Dr Maxwell Maltz


Yourbrainonporn. com states:

    "Research on mental imagery indicates that fantasizing or imagining an experience activates many of the same neural circuits as performing it. In other words, fantasizing about pornography reinforces your addictive pathways." 

" 'When you’re addicted to something, your brain's dopamine goes all out of control. This is what causes the problems in the first place. So what happens? We decide to quit the pornography and masturbation. That’s a great start.

If you read the science literature you'll find that small amounts of dopamine are released just anticipating a stimulus (i.e., wanting a piece of chocolate cake, or in this case porn or sex).

Put it this way: If you quit smoking or alcohol would you spend all day staring at their containers? Probably not, because it creates temptation. It creates that same rush in our brain. You see? Once you quit pornography and masturbation, if you're still looking at regular women and imagining them in pornographic scenes, that’s not really quitting.' "