Dec 19, 2014

How To Set Boundaries

What Are Boundaries?

Though I've always had certain Boundaries, I didn't know they were called "Boundaries". And I know how confusing and hair pulling it is figuring out what boundaries are and how they apply to you, so bare with me.


Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries

Boundaries are a way to protect ourselves. Imagine Boundaries as being a fence around your property. It's a way to let the good in while standing up for yourself against the bad. 

Boundaries are also about YOUR safety and well being (and childrens as well), not about demanding anyone else to do something. You can't demand or force your husband to leave, be nice, go to counseling, read books, be honest, etc etc. You can ASK him to leave, but that doesn't mean he will leave every time he is acting out, abusive or mistreating you. However, you CAN leave in whatever way is possible for you to (ie. Go gray rock, walk away, sleep somewhere else, separation, etc). 

Why are Boundaries so Important?

What are Personal Bill of Rights?

Personal Bill of Rights 

You may have occasionally heard the term "Bill of Rights". Personal Bill of Rights are statements that we declare to ourselves to help empower us, encourage us, and stand up for ourselves. A few examples are:

- I have a right to safety in my home. 
- I have a right to say yes or no to sex, no matter what. Period.
- I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings or problems.
- I have a right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
- I have a right to expect honesty from others.
- I have a right to all of my feelings.
- I have a right to be angry at someone I love, and love someone I’m angry at.