The term "Trauma Bond" is just as victim blaming as codependency, reactive abuse, stockholm syndrome, learned helplessness, Drama Triangle, etc, and just as dangerous for abuse victims. To be clear, I'm not referring to the bond that happens between two victims sharing their trauma together, ex. bonding after natural disasters, victims in support groups, etc. That definitely happens and is a good thing. I've met the best of friends through the journey of healing trauma from abuse.
I'm officially referring to the term "Trauma Bond" developed by Patrick Carnes (he was influenced by earlier works from Dutton & Painter, 1970 & 1981, and Bruno Bettelheim, 1940). The foundation behind the "trauma bonding" theory states that victims don't leave abusive relationships because victims are compulsively SEEKING to be abused, addicted to trauma, addicted to being abused, addicted to the abuser, acting out past childhood trauma, codependent, and in the drama triangle (Drama Triangle means someone isn't really a victim and is only pretending to be a victim), etc. Basically trauma bonding believes victims have underlying issues that "led" them to be in abusive relationships and become trauma bonded. This not only patholagizes the victim, but it also places responsibility on the victim, which is why it's victim blaming.
Sadly the label "Trauma bond" has become extremely popular, yet most people and professionals don't understand the patriarchal/misogynistic victim blaming foundation it was created in. Even therapist Bessel Van Der Kolk helped popularize the label in his book The Body Keeps The Score. Many of the earlier theories that led up to the creation of trauma bonding were based off of the works by a man called Bruno Bettleheim. Bettleheim wrote papers in 1943 about being in nazi camps, and how nazi prisoners tried to mimic the gestapo (almost like they were addicted and wanted to be just like them), etc. He later wrote tons of psychology papers about human bonding, and (autistic) children, etc.
Turns out Bettleheim was a big fraud and liar. Nothing he wrote about the concentration camps actually happened. He was there, yes, but what he claims happened didn't happen. They interviewed tons of other people in the same camp. Bettleheim also was never a psychologist like he claimed, he was a history major. He only took 2 psychology classes, yet lied about his credentials and treated thousands of children and experimented on them, and wrote tons of psychology papers /studies (many of which later became the inspiration of "trauma bonding"). But since Bettleheim was a fraud, so are the foundations and theories fueling "trauma bonding". (To read more about Bettelheim, go HERE)
So why are we still using a label that's very existence was never based on facts?
Here are a few quotes that further show why it's victim blaming :