Once again, another expert bites the dust.

Beware of Professional Lundy Bancroft

Many victims have come forward over the years confirming that domestic violence expert, Lundy Bancroft, author of “Why Does He Do That: Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men”, has abused and exploited multiple domestic violence victims who attended his retreats. (See links at the bottom.)

So far 9 brave victims have come forward. I've personally spoken with 6 of these women, including advocate, April Worthington, and author, Jac Patrissi, who co-authored "Should I Stay or Should I Go" with Lundy. All of their stories are eerily similar, and according to their accounts it shows a huge pattern of Lundy making these women feel special and on top of the world. And then the second they question or mildly disagree with Lundy, or even just do something he doesn't like, he flips a switch and turns into Mr. Hyde, discarding them like they meant nothing.

Thankfully 2 of these victims courageously have publicly come forward with their experiences, see HERE and HERE. I imagine many more will come forward as well.

Lundy has been very popular among the domestic violence world. He advertises himself as a domestic abuse expert, consultant, and counselor, so it's understandable why so many women looked up to him and sought help from him. He's "the expert", right? Even his description of Why Does He Do That on Amazon says he's a counselor:

However, it's important to know that Lundy is NOT a therapist of any kind, and has no formal academic education in domestic violence or therapy, though it seemed he was totally fine with everyone thinking he was a therapist. Lundy used his power as an “authority” figure and preyed on vulnerable women, women who've been abused, who've experienced the worst pain of their lives, and who often PAID Lundy for help, etc., and in turn, he exploited them into doing free work for him, convinced them to “cuddle” with him, or tried to engage in a romantic “relationship” with them.

I would note, that none of these women were ever truly in a romantic relationship with Lundy, since one cannot be in a “romantic relationship” when there's a huge power differential, see more on this below.

His Cult Affiliation: Insights into Beliefs and Practices

To make matters more creepy, Lundy used to be affiliated with a Scientology cult offshoot named RC (Re-evaluation Counseling, founded by known rapist, Harvey Jackins), and Lundy created a program called Peak Living Network, which currently uses many of RC's cult teachings, principles, and practices.

One of these is called “Co-counseling”. Co-counseling is basically where two people share their darkest secrets and “counsel” each other. This might not sound too alarming, but as Scientology & RC have often done, Lundy used information he learned in “co-counseling” sessions with abused women to prevent many of them from coming forward about the truth of his unethical and abusive practices.

In 2011 Lundy also created a program called “Nature's Temple” that mirrored a lot of what RC believes in. Here are a few examples of the principles Lundy wrote for Nature's Temple that he called "Nature's Mysticism" - which may not sound bad in and of itself, but given the context that Lundy abused and took advantage of women, the wording is questionable (creepy):

- “The pursuit of ecstasy is inseparable from the pursuit of love.”
- “Ecstasy is about communion. The greatest ecstasy involves a euphoric and mystical sense of connection to all that is.”
- ..”Communion with all human beings is part of the ecstatic experience..”
- “Our gatherings are devoted to the pursuit of love, justice, and ecstasy.”
- “The highest form of human life happens when we..find ecstasy in our lives on this earth."

Website Nature's Temple, Transition to A New World

🤮 Now, doesn't that sound like something a cult leader would say? (And in case Lundy tries to delete any of this creepy stuff, I have screenshots y'all!)

The Complex Reasons Behind Victims' Hesitation to Speak Out

The reason why many victims haven't publicly come forward is that they still live in constant fear of Lundy being able to weaponize the private things they told him in "co-counseling". They also live in constant fear of not being believed by coming forward, since, after all, he's the “Great Lundy Bancroft”, an “expert in abuse”, and the “man who truly gets us women”, right? In fact, one of the victims, April Worthington, actually told people about his abuse many years ago, and most people didn't believe her! Heck, even since this info about Lundy went public, there have already been many professionals who’ve refused to believe the victims who have bravely come forward. 😭

For example, we personally told coach Sarah McDugal about Lundy abusing women a few years ago and gave her a victim's statement along with the victim's contact info, and Sarah turned around and told victims in her Facebook group that the report about Lundy was "Unconfirmed" and a "rumor", said Lundy's book "remains the very best", and basically told them not to talk about it anymore (and sadly this isn't the first time Sarah chose not to believe a victim 😢). Like what?? A letter written directly by a victim with her contact info is NOT an unconfirmed rumor!!! 🤯

Another example is Gretchen Baskerville, who's a Christian advocate, "divorce recovery leader", and author of Life Saving Divorce (and happens to be friends with Sarah McDugal). According to Gretchen, she watched April's videos and still chose not to fully believe that victims have been abused by Lundy Bancroft. Gretchen even insinuated that what happened between Lundy and April was consensual because they “dated”, that he “respected her when she said ‘no’ to sex while dating”, and that "April is just “angry” that Lundy "broke up with her".

April messaged Gretchen to give her more info, but sadly, Gretchen has not replied.

Geez, if a victim's personal account isn't good enough, what would it take for a victim to be believed by these professionals?? This is heartbreaking, especially coming from professionals who profit off of victims!

(* Note: Many professionals DID believe the victims though. Shout out to Betrayal Trauma Recovery for working tirelessly to remove years' worth of Lundy's content from their platform, and to Barbara Roberts at Crying Out for Justice who's been warning victims about Lundy for YEARS, and many many others! THANK YOU! 🙋‍♀️👏👏👏**)

First off, April & Lundy DIDN'T DATE. Second, Lundy kept pressuring April, and when SHE told Lundy no, he became cold, and mean, and retaliated against her.

I know calling it "dating" might be an easy fleeting choice of words, even for April. Abuse is incredibly confusing, especially when done by someone you look up to as an authority expert. But in reality, April and Lundy didn't actually “date”.

The Impact of Power Differentials on Professional and Client Dynamics

Dating requires two people equally consenting. It denotes that two people like each other and are mutually entering into a type of relationship on equal grounds.

However, when one person is in a huge position of authority over another, it creates a power differential. This means the one UNDER that power of authority cannot freely give consent to sexual relations, since they are not on equal grounds.

What Lundy did to April was no different than a therapist grooming a patient. She PAID Lundy for help, and she thought Lundy was a counselor. Because, again, Lundy calls himself a counselor in his book “Why Does He Do That”. Just because he lied and wasn't actually a counselor, doesn't make it any less of a power differential. Morally it's still the same as a therapist/client or parent/child dynamic.

For example, saying “no” to the world-renowned “Great Lundy Bancroft” is not as easy or on the same level as saying “no” to someone you met up for drinks on a dating website. It is far scarier and more difficult to say “no” to someone you admire and look up to as the "best" authority figure since there are far more repercussions for saying "no".

Plus, Lundy KNEW BETTER. He did. He knew he was in a position of power (proof of this is in the fact he lied and hid many of his actions). He had far more influence over these women than they had over him. He knew these women were vulnerable and going through the worst pain of their lives. He knew these women idolized him and saw him as "the only man who gets us". And again, these women PAID HIM FOR HELP. He is the one who didn't have the proper boundaries in place and in doing so abused his power and exploited victims.

One study by Masters and Johnson compared the effects of a therapist having sexual relations with a client, to those effected by rape, incest, and abuse. They found that the effects of therapist-client sex were so similar to the effects of rape, etc., that they stated:

"We feel that when sexual seduction of patients can be firmly established by due legal process, regardless of whether the seduction was initiated by the patient or the therapist, the therapist should be sued for rape rather than malpractice, i.e., the legal process should be criminal rather than civil."

-Masters & Johnson et. al, 1976, 1977, cited by Pope, 2001

“Consent CANNOT be given if a person’s ability to resist or consent is incapacitated because of a mental illness or physical condition or if there is a significant age or perceived power differential.“

-Case Western Reserve University

“What Consent Means
Consent is the voluntary, ongoing and affirmative agreement to engage in the sexual activity in question. Submission or passivity does not constitute consent.
Consent cannot:
-be assumed. Silence should not be interpreted as consent.
-be given by someone who is unconscious.
-be obtained through threats or coercion.
-be obtained if the perpetrator abuses a position of trust, power, or authority.” (!!!!!!!! 👏👏)

- Gov't of Canada, Dept. National Defense

“A broad range of coercive circumstances should be considered and special attention should be paid to any dynamics of power and authority and the exploitation of positions of vulnerability, trust, influence, and dependence. It is critical to realize that consent cannot be voluntary, genuine, or willing, and participation in a sexual act is not of an individual’s free will or agency, in contexts where coercive circumstances exist or positions of dependence or vulnerability are exploited…
Examples of power and authority dynamics that could lead to the exploitation of positions of vulnerability, trust, influence, and dependence:
Teacher and student
Care provider and patient
Coach and athlete
Boss and employee
Priest and congregant
Family member and dependent family member (e.g. Incest)”

-Equality Now

“In a healthy relationship, one partner cannot have more authority over the other. If one partner is the teacher, boss, therapist, etc. over the other, there is already a power differential, and there may even be laws preventing a sexual relationship. Because of this inequality, there may be fear of losing a job, getting a poor grade, or experiencing another consequence if the person of lesser power doesn’t agree to sex. This is not true consent.”

-RiverviewCenter.org

“People seeking help are in a position in which they must trust in the knowledge and guidance of their caregiver. This results in a greater-than-ordinary vulnerability…
There is a power inequality whenever you take on a role that gives you authority over another or creates the perception that you have authority. Power differential roles include: supervisor, clergy, body worker, healer, lawyer, coach, group leader, therapist, counselor, doctor/nurse, mediator, teacher, social worker, massage therapist, guide, and social worker."..
“‘Think about it. When you go to a therapist, doctor, or teacher, you want to be in an environment where you can get what you need. You want the environment to be different than just talking to a friend..’”

-Good Therapy, Power Differential, Why it Matters

How Lundy Bancroft Exposed Himself

One common tactic of abusers is to discredit victims so others won't believe them.

After April realized Lundy Bancroft wasn't a safe guy and later gained the courage to tell people about her experience, he went on a smear campaign, but of course subtly. Lundy wrote a letter to his devout followers throwing April under the bus, convinced many of his followers he was just "worried about April's well-being" and made her look unstable and thus not credible. (Email me for the letter)

What's interesting is that in Lundy's letter against April, he alludes to two other women who he insinuates accused him, and tries to discredit them as well by making them out to be disgruntled ex "employees." But the thing is, the two women never went public with their experience, nor did they ever officially have it out with Lundy to tell him how they felt. So, the fact Lundy felt the need to pre-emptively throw them under the bus only proves he knows he mistreated them in some way. I mean, if he honestly believed he treated them great, and they never publicly said a word about him or to him, why would he feel the need to go on a smear campaign against them?

He told on himself and didn't even realize it. 😳

But Isn't His Book Still Good?

If anyone is wondering, "Oh but Lundy's book is so so good, maybe we can just still recommend his book but add a caveat", PLEASE don't! I've seen people try this and sadly it doesn't work. It still runs the huge risk of sending victims Lundy’s way to be preyed on. Plus, there are better resources out there! A much safer more educated and ACCURATE book is "How He Gets Into Her Head" by Don Hennessy. It's not perfect but, is far superior in information than Lundy's book. I also HIGHLY recommend Response Based Practice, which is personally my favorite resource, they are the most educated organization I've ever come across in abuse, victims" responses, abusers" actions and why they abuse, and anti-victim blaming language! 😍

Additionally, Lundy says victim-blaming concepts in his book Why Does He Do That. Here you can see he believes in “traumatic bonding”, which shows he's not as informed as one might think:

beware of lundy bancroft

What's most sad about all of this, though, is Lundy is STILL preying on women, and that's the biggest concern. Lundy claimed he retired (and I attended his speaking engagement a few years ago, where he claimed it was his last one), but he didn't. For example, he's still holding retreats for women, he's still doing Peak Living Network (or I should say he's having women run it for him, often for free), and a Betrayal Healing conference in 2025 held by Tammy Gustavson had Lundy as one of their speakers!!! (Yes, many of us sent messages to Tammy to inform her, sadly, she never replied.)

Please be careful out there.

April's video

https://youtu.be/pmiEj-rkHBU?si=GJBtCQtc2Yce8tlD

2 victims statements:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CzqD5Nb7cqr1MQVLeZwOkplfaSkYSznmBWovdb9ZLN0/edit?usp=drivesdk

Excellent article by Barbara Roberts, packed with tons of info on Lundy:

https://cryingoutforjustice.blog/2025/01/30/lundy-bancroft-is-a-predator/?fbclid=IwY2xjawJBQjtleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHUoSabXvVKy47senjzfG5fzvT_HUJIW5BQu59MQk-D_w0Qq5QcaL7mpmOQ_aem_B7KSk9qp5GHpHYGWT53vEA

Screenshot of Sarah McDugal's text

https://cryingoutforjustice.blog/2025/01/30/lundy-bancroft-is-a-predator/?fbclid=IwY2xjawJBQjtleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHUoSabXvVKy47senjzfG5fzvT_HUJIW5BQu59MQk-D_w0Qq5QcaL7mpmOQ_aem_B7KSk9qp5GHpHYGWT53vEA

Screenshots of Gretchen Baskerville

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/18sBmv6qTa/

More about Lundy's cult affiliations: