Saturday, February 5, 2022

"Victim" Is Not A Weak Shameful Word

"Victim mode", "Victim Mentality", "Stop playing a Victim", "It's tempting to be the victim"(Yes, I'm staring at you Leslie Vernick๐Ÿ˜Š), "Be a survivor, not a victim", "You're a victim, but you don't have to live there. You have a choice", etc

Can you imagine someone saying these things to a victim who just lost their entire home to a natural distaster? : "Stop playing the victim, get out of your victimhood"?? That would be insensitive and mean. 

Being an actual victim isn't a feeling, a mood, or state of mind. There's no connotation of weakness in the definition of victim. See? :

Victim Definition: "to be hurt, damaged, or killed because of something or someone; a person who is cheated or fooled by someone else" 

It's simply a word that describes that something bad happened to us that wasn't our fault. That's all. Ie. Victim of a car crash, victim of assault, victim of natural distaster, etc. It's not who we are. When we talk about the word victim as if it's a label, feeling, mood, or state of mind, we are only fueling the belief that there is something wrong with the word victim. Why WOULDN'T we want a word that means what happened to us wasn't our fault? That's a GOOD thing! 

Whereas the phrase "victim mentality" by definition means that someone who is not a current victim is just playing a victim :

Victim Mentality : "an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances." 

So for anyone to tell an actual current victim that they are in victim mode, victim mentality, etc. is LITERALLY TELLING THEM THEY AREN'T A VICTIM AND ARE JUST ACTING LIKE IT! By acknowledging that I'm a victim, I'm acknowledging that I'm injured and it's not my fault. Again, this is good. But to imply I'm only "playing" a victim, it insinuates that I have fault in my injury, or am not that injured and am just being dramatic. Either one is disgusting and messed up.

Please stop pathologizing & stigmatizing the word victim. It's not a dirty shameful weak word. I can be a survivor of abuse and also a victim of abuse. They don't contradict.

These articles below are amazing ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ’—