S-Anon is victim blaming and codependency based, even if they don't use the word "codependency".
S-anon believes wives are just as sick and diseased and addicted as our sex addict husbands. Whenever they talk about "our illness", this is what they mean:
We chose our partners because of our problems? NO. We didn't. Statistically 90-99% of all men regularly look at pornography, the odds are against ALL women. It's not a woman's fault a man chose to lie:
Many of us have the same characteristics as the addict, and we too became ill? 🤔:
Yes, we must seek recovery from our "illness" ... by getting the exact same 12 step treatment as the addict. 🤦♀️:
Our noble qualities perpetuated our illness.. (again, "our addiction"):
"Our illness" that led us to seek out rejection, victimization, and heartache...:
Our "disease"..:
Oh but make sure you don't revert back into your disease, otherwise that's considered a slip (you know, because you have an addiction😜) :
We often made a choice to be a victim? Apparently we are all so messed up we CHOSE to be abused! Because that makes sense...:
There's many more, I just couldn't.... 😳😅🤦♀️
Thank you for this!
ReplyDeleteYou are very welcome 💗🤗
DeleteI love whoever you are. This is amazing stuff. I've been to most of these Groups and worked steps and That's actually how I found out that this was not an addict issue to a sexaholic for me, Also not a Codependent issue for me, It's was entirely something different, and it was painful. I just wish more language was geared towards the Betrayed MALE spouses too. I'm grateful to have found this whole Blog Page, it's almost spot on to the horrible journey I've been having with my Sex addict partner. The Betrayal trauma that most are ignorant too. And, all the Sister Programs to AA , that just don't fit for this. Although I'm an AA member.
ReplyDeleteAfter sitting in one meeting and hearing these statements read aloud, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I am a victim of a sex addicts poor choices, not suffering from my own addiction. The addict-like behaviors were a trauma response to the addicts’ acting out and causing concerns. I don’t think I can go through the S-Anon program. It’s despicable how it’s programming the victims into feeling like they are the problem.
ReplyDeleteIt really is awful! The entire history of 12 steps was rooted in victim blaming. If you're ever bored, Google "Alcoholics Anonymous To Wives" and read it (it's still in the AA book). Even though this letter was supposed to be written from a wives perspective to other wives, it was instead written by Bill Wilson, the founder of AA 🤮
DeleteI forgot to add the kicker, it was written by Bill Wilson PRETENDING to be a wife. What could go wrong? 😅
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