Nov 15, 2022

How To Find A Therapist To Vet

 How I find therapists to vet :

- Go to PsychologyToday website and input your zip code.

- Then narrow down the search by clicking on "Issues" and selecting the options Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse, & Trauma and PTSD. (Do NOT select Addiction or Sexual Addiction!! You don't need an addiction therapist, you need a therapist who understands abuse and trauma. If a therapist TRULY understands abuse, trauma, and victims, then everything sex addiction /betrayal trauma related will be common sense) 

- Then click on "Types", and select EMDR. (EMDR is very helpful for trauma)

- You can also click on "Gender" and select a female or male. I personally prefer to see women.

- If you're going through insurance you can also narrow down the search based on your insurance. 

- Then read each therapists bio and make sure they don't list "Codependency" under issues they specialize in. Email each therapist candidate that looks good to you. This is usually what I write to therapists when I try to vet them :

"I'm looking for a therapist who specializes in abuse, intimate partner violence, coercive control, and trauma 💗 Especially one that does NOT use victim blaming pathological modalities like Codependency, Trauma Bonded, Prodependency, Stockholm Syndrome, Learned Helplessness, Drama Triangle, etc. I also need a therapist who understands patriarchy/misogyny, the harm pornography does against women/how it fuels trafficking, and won't say a husbands abuse, pornography addiction, and cheating are "normal" and ok. Do you have experience in these things? "

If the therapist writes back and says they use any of those victim blaming modalities then don't use them.

Here's a list of things to look out for when determining if the therapist is a good fit :

** If you don't get many search results, try taking off trauma and PTSD, or, sexual abuse (not both). Never take off EMDR unless you absolutely for sure have to. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Remember, the therapist works for you. Think of it like a job interview. NEVER ASSUME A THERAPIST KNOWS HOW TO HELP YOU JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE A LICENSE. Therapists are like jeans, sometimes you have to try on a few to find the right fit. 💕

Fantastic article with more question examples to ask a therapist 🙌 :